We are celebrating ryan's first summer vacation in about 18 years so we thought we'd start it off big! Let's see...Monday we went to...where else to kick off the summer but the beach! This time the weather was perfect & the water was great! Kiera loved it so much. She went out into the water with daddy & took the waves crashing over her head like a pro. (which of course makes mommy soooo nervous) The water felt great...did i already say that? This is her after the water...snuggled up in a towel to dry off.
Tuesday we stayed home and cleaned the garage allll day. We got so much done, it looks tons better & we were even able to play pool. It's so nice to get it coming along, it's gonna be a great gameroom once we're finished. Wednesday we went to the park to feed the ducks. They were being "stupe" and didn't want any bread but we had a good time anyways. Kiera loves playing on the swings. We also sat on the grass & just chilled. At first she thought it was weird and didn't wanna touch it but pretty soon she was yanking out handfuls & throwing it into the air. That evening we went to see Transformers & to In N Out with some of our coolest friends in the world. They are so much fun. 
Thursday we headed down to San Diego. We went to Old Town & hung out for a while. Then cruised up to the Boardwalk & walked around. I got the biggest ice cream cone ever. It was so good! They've got some awesome rides there but i was too terrified i'd hurl once i got off, so, not doin it. 
Friday, today, we headed up to the Aquarium of the Pacific. Kiera loved it! She loved people watching as much or maybe even more than all the animal watching. She has to wave & yell "hi" to EVERYBODY! Oh my gosh. We got to touch all kinds of cool animals. The sea lions are my favorite. Hands down. Love them. 
We went into the Lorikeet Sanctuary & those birds are everywhere. It's cool cuz you can feed & touch them but they are so grouchy. We sat kiera next to this one & he was like squawking at her to go away cuz she had nothing to offer him.Tomorrow we are chilling & possibly putting stuff out for a garage sale. Just taking it easy. It was a busy week but i loved spending every day with my beautiful little girl & of course having ryan home is the most wonderful thing, less diapers for me to change, lol, not just THAT, because i love him.
Current mood: 
aggravated
I felt really small today. As you can see, kiera does not look like me. She looks like Ryan. And apparently she is "too light-skinned" to be mine. Yes, i was told that by a stranger in a grocery store. I just threw my bananas in the cart & walked along. Ok, kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Ok, i lied, it rubbed me the wrong way alot. I knew people thought it when they looked at us but it had never come up. Well, today took the cake.
We went up to ryans school to see everyone since it was the last 'official' day. Ryan came out to the car & grabbed kiera & we proceeded into his classroom. A substitute they have come in often came over & was totally googly over kiera, doing the whole baby talk thing & saying how adorable she is & all that. Ryan let her hold kiera & had walked past her & i was standing face to face with her. She looks at me says "so, are you the babysitter..?" I wanted to grab kiera away & crawl into a cave. I politely said, "nope, i'm ryan's wife." She didn't say sorry or anything, she said something about her son doesn't look like her & it happens... like it's normal that people would assume i'm just the nanny. Nobody could believe she had said that. Pretty much everyone there knows me so i really wasn't expecting that.
My dad says i need to wear a shirt or a sign to clarify my relation to my own daughter. Why should I? Kiera is my daughter. It took me about 10 months to make her. I carried her in my belly. I threw up when food stunk. I had so many restless nights. And the worst heartburn in the world. I even have the scar to prove it. It really hurt me today. Not because of this stranger, or even the one at the grocery store. But from every single questioning look i get. All the freaking time. This was the first time it was ever verbalized. I know it shouldn't bother me, that's what EVERYONE says. "Oh sarah, don't let it bother you." But it does. It fed into my lack of self esteem. Am i not good enough to have produced such a beautiful little girl...? Why is that so hard to believe. She's perfect, in EVERY way. And yes, she's mine.
Well, it's finally happened.... I've been feeling old lately. Now, i know anybody who is older than me is thinking "ok...what does that make me...?" Age has never meant much to me, as far as numbers... In fact, i can never remember how old i am. It's true, ask ryan. If you ask me, i couldn't tell ya without first doing the math in my head. But lately, it hasn't been the numbers... per say. I've more been able to compare my age to things. For instance, the other day, a really cute jeep pulled up on the street next to us, the windows said things like "sexy", "hot stuff'', and it said "18th birthday!" with arrows pointing to the driver. Now, i've always considered myself to be 'around 18/19' still....for the first time i realized, I AM NOT. I was 10 when she was born. Oh wow. And another marker i guess would be, this month i celebrate my 10 year high school reunion. It's a weird thought. It's unreal. And i don't like it. Now, i'm very happy with my life. I have a wonderful husband. We've been married for a little over 2 and 1/2 years and we've been together for almost 5 years. To this day we are still learning things about each other. And i have a beautiful daughter who is my world. I'm in a perfect place in my life. I'm surrounded by family & everyday is wonderful. So, why is this bothering me.....
kiera loves candy. any kind.
i wonder where she got it from.
Tuesday we stayed home and cleaned the garage allll day. We got so much done, it looks tons better & we were even able to play pool. It's so nice to get it coming along, it's gonna be a great gameroom once we're finished. Wednesday we went to the park to feed the ducks. They were being "stupe" and didn't want any bread but we had a good time anyways. Kiera loves playing on the swings. We also sat on the grass & just chilled. At first she thought it was weird and didn't wanna touch it but pretty soon she was yanking out handfuls & throwing it into the air. That evening we went to see Transformers & to In N Out with some of our coolest friends in the world. They are so much fun. 
Thursday we headed down to San Diego. We went to Old Town & hung out for a while. Then cruised up to the Boardwalk & walked around. I got the biggest ice cream cone ever. It was so good! They've got some awesome rides there but i was too terrified i'd hurl once i got off, so, not doin it. 
Friday, today, we headed up to the Aquarium of the Pacific. Kiera loved it! She loved people watching as much or maybe even more than all the animal watching. She has to wave & yell "hi" to EVERYBODY! Oh my gosh. We got to touch all kinds of cool animals. The sea lions are my favorite. Hands down. Love them. 
We went into the Lorikeet Sanctuary & those birds are everywhere. It's cool cuz you can feed & touch them but they are so grouchy. We sat kiera next to this one & he was like squawking at her to go away cuz she had nothing to offer him.Tomorrow we are chilling & possibly putting stuff out for a garage sale. Just taking it easy. It was a busy week but i loved spending every day with my beautiful little girl & of course having ryan home is the most wonderful thing, less diapers for me to change, lol, not just THAT, because i love him.
