BuSy WeeK

We are celebrating ryan's first summer vacation in about 18 years so we thought we'd start it off big! Let's see...Monday we went to...where else to kick off the summer but the beach! This time the weather was perfect & the water was great! Kiera loved it so much. She went out into the water with daddy & took the waves crashing over her head like a pro. (which of course makes mommy soooo nervous) The water felt great...did i already say that? This is her after the water...snuggled up in a towel to dry off. Tuesday we stayed home and cleaned the garage allll day. We got so much done, it looks tons better & we were even able to play pool. It's so nice to get it coming along, it's gonna be a great gameroom once we're finished. Wednesday we went to the park to feed the ducks. They were being "stupe" and didn't want any bread but we had a good time anyways. Kiera loves playing on the swings. We also sat on the grass & just chilled. At first she thought it was weird and didn't wanna touch it but pretty soon she was yanking out handfuls & throwing it into the air. That evening we went to see Transformers & to In N Out with some of our coolest friends in the world. They are so much fun. Thursday we headed down to San Diego. We went to Old Town & hung out for a while. Then cruised up to the Boardwalk & walked around. I got the biggest ice cream cone ever. It was so good! They've got some awesome rides there but i was too terrified i'd hurl once i got off, so, not doin it. Friday, today, we headed up to the Aquarium of the Pacific. Kiera loved it! She loved people watching as much or maybe even more than all the animal watching. She has to wave & yell "hi" to EVERYBODY! Oh my gosh. We got to touch all kinds of cool animals. The sea lions are my favorite. Hands down. Love them. We went into the Lorikeet Sanctuary & those birds are everywhere. It's cool cuz you can feed & touch them but they are so grouchy. We sat kiera next to this one & he was like squawking at her to go away cuz she had nothing to offer him.Tomorrow we are chilling & possibly putting stuff out for a garage sale. Just taking it easy. It was a busy week but i loved spending every day with my beautiful little girl & of course having ryan home is the most wonderful thing, less diapers for me to change, lol, not just THAT, because i love him.

Current mood: aggravated

I felt really small today. As you can see, kiera does not look like me. She looks like Ryan. And apparently she is "too light-skinned" to be mine. Yes, i was told that by a stranger in a grocery store. I just threw my bananas in the cart & walked along. Ok, kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Ok, i lied, it rubbed me the wrong way alot. I knew people thought it when they looked at us but it had never come up. Well, today took the cake.

We went up to ryans school to see everyone since it was the last 'official' day. Ryan came out to the car & grabbed kiera & we proceeded into his classroom. A substitute they have come in often came over & was totally googly over kiera, doing the whole baby talk thing & saying how adorable she is & all that. Ryan let her hold kiera & had walked past her & i was standing face to face with her. She looks at me says "so, are you the babysitter..?" I wanted to grab kiera away & crawl into a cave. I politely said, "nope, i'm ryan's wife." She didn't say sorry or anything, she said something about her son doesn't look like her & it happens... like it's normal that people would assume i'm just the nanny. Nobody could believe she had said that. Pretty much everyone there knows me so i really wasn't expecting that.

My dad says i need to wear a shirt or a sign to clarify my relation to my own daughter. Why should I? Kiera is my daughter. It took me about 10 months to make her. I carried her in my belly. I threw up when food stunk. I had so many restless nights. And the worst heartburn in the world. I even have the scar to prove it. It really hurt me today. Not because of this stranger, or even the one at the grocery store. But from every single questioning look i get. All the freaking time. This was the first time it was ever verbalized. I know it shouldn't bother me, that's what EVERYONE says. "Oh sarah, don't let it bother you." But it does. It fed into my lack of self esteem. Am i not good enough to have produced such a beautiful little girl...? Why is that so hard to believe. She's perfect, in EVERY way. And yes, she's mine.

What's My Age Again...What's My Age Again.......

Well, it's finally happened.... I've been feeling old lately. Now, i know anybody who is older than me is thinking "ok...what does that make me...?" Age has never meant much to me, as far as numbers... In fact, i can never remember how old i am. It's true, ask ryan. If you ask me, i couldn't tell ya without first doing the math in my head. But lately, it hasn't been the numbers... per say. I've more been able to compare my age to things. For instance, the other day, a really cute jeep pulled up on the street next to us, the windows said things like "sexy", "hot stuff'', and it said "18th birthday!" with arrows pointing to the driver. Now, i've always considered myself to be 'around 18/19' still....for the first time i realized, I AM NOT. I was 10 when she was born. Oh wow. And another marker i guess would be, this month i celebrate my 10 year high school reunion. It's a weird thought. It's unreal. And i don't like it. Now, i'm very happy with my life. I have a wonderful husband. We've been married for a little over 2 and 1/2 years and we've been together for almost 5 years. To this day we are still learning things about each other. And i have a beautiful daughter who is my world. I'm in a perfect place in my life. I'm surrounded by family & everyday is wonderful. So, why is this bothering me.....

candy

kiera loves candy. any kind. i wonder where she got it from.

l0v3

words cannot express the love i have for my little girl. she pulls my hair, pinches me HARD when she's sleepy, climbs on EvErYtHiNg, and laughs when i scold her, but...when she rests her little head on me for a brief moment to catch her breath, my heart melts.

BeAcH!

We took kiera to the beach for the first time a couple weeks ago. We picked up some food & headed over for a picnic. It was cloudy & cold (so we weren't there very long) but she LOVED it! Her favorite part was eating the sand. This is definitely a repeater!

Mother's Day

SeVeN

Kiera is now seven months and boy has she been busy! With spring break just passing, there were alot of "firsts" around here. She went to the zoo for the first time & loved it. She loves animals, she even got to hand feed a goat and it totally almost took her finger off but daddy saved her. She also rode a carosel with daddy and hung on for dear life. Her grandma Judy came out for a few days and hung out with us. Kiera loved having her around and being able to spend time with her. She went to her first birthday party, at where else but chuck e. cheese. She thought it was great! She had her first easter sunday & egg hunt... she was too tired and whiny to help decorate eggs, maybe next year. Aside from all that, home life has gotten pretty crazy! She went from not being able to roll over to crawling within like a week. She crawls everywhere! And she climbs up and stands on anything she can get a grip on! (plus, she has to put everything she can get in her mouth) She can say "mama", "dada", "hi", and "grandpa". Time just keeps flying by!

HaLf B-DaY!

Today Kiera is six months 0ld! So little yet she's already developed quite the personality. She's such a good baby, i couldn't ask for anything more. She wakes up with a smile on her face and it stays all day. I'm so lucky i get to stay home with her and spend so much time learning and teaching. (especially at this time when so many people are losing jobs) Me and Ryan are so fortunate that we have a wonderful home and he has the best job! *Photo Courtesy of Joel Remke

McHaPPy Day!

SO, today my friend ashley came over... it was so good to see her, i haven't since before kiera entered the world. We hung out, talked, had lunch, played with kiera, and...i got a 45 minute mAssAge! (she's a licensed massage therapist). It was sooo nice and long overdue. Thanks again ash!

{My Greatest Creation}

* YuM *

Last night me & Ryan made donuts! I've made them before and i have to say, i love them! They are fast, easy, cheap, and sooo yummy! You just buy a tube of the pillsbury biscuits, cut the middle out of each one with a cookie cutter (the middle makes the donut holes) , fry each side in some oil until golden brown and place on a rack to cool. (but not too cool...warm donuts are the best) Then you can put whatever topping you'd like. We dipped ours in cinnamon/sugar. TaDa! Ryan wants to make them every night now.

FiVe M0nThS!

Kiera is now 5 m0nths and i can't believe how time flies. A friend of mine says "time flies, yet stands still at the same time." It's so true. I'm so amazed at her progression each day and all of the things she can do, she's so driven and so determined. She's my little spitfire. She's growing and getting bigger each day. She's been teething so we're expecting teeth any time. She can sit up on her own now and loves laying out a blanket and having 'pinics' on the livingroom floor. She loves watching tv and loves playing with other kids. Her new favorite thing is riding in her cousin jaqueline's wagon.

Utah In February

We just got back from visiting our Pond family in Utah. It was so much fun to see everyone and we were busy all week! Kiera enjoyed spending time with everyone. We went by Edgemont and Canyon Crest (the schools me & ryan worked at). It was great seeing our kids & our friends/coworkers. We miss them so much. We hung out with friends and kiera spent lots of time with grandma. One morning we took a drive up to "our park". We had never been up there this time of year & there was tons of snow. We even saw some deer. I love seeing them out in the wild. The time always seems so short but i'm glad we were able to go up and visit.

SiXTeeN WeeKs!

*Kisses*

A NeW YeAr

We decided that every january first we would go out as a family and "do something fun". So for our inaugural new years day we went to the discovery science center. I'd always wanted to go there and i thought kiera is getting to where she loves to look at things and thought she'd enjoy it so we went. It was so cool. The theme for the month is bats and everything was just amazing. We had a great time. There's huge dinosaur displays and so much interactive stuff, me and ryan enjoyed it more than anything. I even got to lay on a bed of nails...very cool. They were so sharp. The guy kept saying "if you're experiencing any discomfort, let me know.." and i was thinking "bring it on." It was fun going out as a family and spending the day enjoying ourselves. Between the holidays and moving, we've been so busy and most of our free time is spent cleaning and trying to fix up our house.

*NeW YeArs EvE*

I made this doll for Kiera and they're currently the same size. It's pretty cute. So i decided that i'd take a picture of her with her dolly every NeW YeArs EvE and track her growth. Here's picture #1.

Baby's First Christmas