Church

Regan loves church. She loves sacrament, loves nursery, loves snack time...  Hard to tell by looking...

This was last sunday... hair a mess, summer dress, scraped knee, and a bowl of popcorn... yes, a bowl of fresh popped popcorn i whipped up on the way out the door... Straight up. What a lunch, mom of the year here!

 And this was today. Out. Slept through the first 2 hours and made it to nursery just in time for snack.

One o'clock church is a killer.

Beach

We went to the beach this week to kick off the beginning of summer. The girls LOVE the beach! I love relaxing to the sound of the waves and the laughter of my girls as they run around playing. They both love the sand, water, shells, and occasional sand crab we happen to catch... I'm so happy to live so close to the beach and be able to share this beautiful place with my girls.

My girls

I have been blessed with the two most awesome daughters anyone could ask for. They have taught me so much and they continue to teach me daily... about life, and love, and happiness, and patience. They are a part of me and the most amazing creations i could ever have imagined i could achieve. They have such different personalities, and both uniquely special. They love each other so much and im so thankful for the the friendship  and bond they already share. I hope they always stay so united. I love to watch them interact with each other, to communicate, and brainstorm...and fight and hug. They are two best friends and it's awesome to share my life with them. I love these two crazies.

Trunk or Treat

New

Current  Mood: Pensive

I feel like i have so much to say but the wires that connect my thoughts and words are so disconnected that when i speak my voice lets out silent air. It's been so long since I've written and I'm afraid I've forgotten how to open up and let my feelings come to the surface, maybe i can just sit and type and bypass my mind and just come straight from my heart. I wish i could lay my head down on the keyboard and just have the connection write out my thoughts because my brain gets in the way and jumbles and muffles the true intent of my soul.  
I have so many thing to be thankful for. So many people to appreciate. I have a family that loves me and accepts me for who and what i am even though i lack in so many way. I wish that more people knew me, the real me, but the fear of exposure causes me to only let people in so far that they never have a chance to realize how awesome i am. And when i am complimented, it causes me to shutter because i feel unworthy due to my shortcomings. And at the same time i feel if people knew the real me, they would be frightened at my lack of conviction and where i stand in life. Nobody is perfect, we are all in the same boat, etc etc, I've heard it all before... i know all that. But life is still hard and things are still painful. 
I never had aspirations, i never knew what would come of my life, i would think about it sometimes but my lack of motivation and encouragement didn't allow me to get too far down that train of thought. I always wanted to have kids but i never thought i would. I felt incapable of loving anyone enough to accomplish creating a family, much less having children. I never thought i would finish school, i was told college wasn't for me, oh. ok. That's out then. No career, no family... Now what.
I did find someone. Someone patient and loving. Someone who seems me as Jesus sees me,  he loves me and holds me so dear and so close to his heart that when life gets so hard that my heart is too tired to beat, his pulls mine along and gives it that extra power to keep me going. He has taught me how to love. He has taught me how to care. He has taught me how to argue appropriately and I'm so glad i get to spend forever with him by my side. He has given me two beautiful girls that are the most important things to me. They have taught me how to love unconditionally and how to be a mom. They have taught me to embrace the unknown and enjoy it. 
I have a handful of close friends that i love dearly. A few people that i have let in and who haven't run away with fear of knowing the real me. Friends that are teaching me how to be a friend. I never was good at having friends. I never learned the social skills needed to interact and nurture a friendship. They have always been a scary thing to me and I've always run the other way. It's much much easier for me to close the door on someone then to work at it and learn how to be a friend and have friends. But i believe I'm getting better. I hope i am. I am still working on it. It's been painful at times and it's hard work for sure but it is, I'm finding out, worth it. My social skills are so much better now and yes, I'm engaging in self censoring more and more so that helps me not come off so harsh. I'm so thankful for my friends and for the examples they are to me. I'm also so thankful for my in laws, for the love and support they are and have always been to me. I could not have asked for a better family to marry into. They have always treated me with such love and respect. 
Life is not always easy, but it is also not always hard. We all have our own struggles and joys. There was a time when i had reached a low. There was nowhere else to go but up. Nothing else mattered. I was as far down as my soul could get and every other bad thing that came my way became like a pebble falling after an avalanche. I started looking for the good things, and i became able to appreciate them to the fullness. I stopped planning my days in advance & leaving room for disappointments. I started living one day at a time, not worrying about tomorrow. I started enjoying my company and the time i spend with people. Talking, laughing, loving. Appreciating the people in my life, the people that love me, the people who hurt when I'm in pain. I stopped worrying. Worrying about the choices other people make in their lives, and the frustration of not being able to make the decisions for them that i know are right. I started trusting in other peoples judgments, even when i think they're wrong. A wise old man told me, "if you're driving home from a long trip, and you brought some food back with you, and hours down the road it starts to stink because you have no way to keep it cold, what do you do?" I said "pull over and throw it out, it's no good." He said, "exactly, worrying does you NO good, you can't hold on to it as important as you think it might be." He's right. And i did. I no longer carry those burdens that are not mine. I got a quote from a friend that says "Everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end." I'm still holding out for that but until the end comes, I'll trust God and i will keep moving forward. There's no need to dig up the past so i can fix my future. I just need to focus on what's important and work on myself. I need to remember where i am going with my life and how I'm going to get there. And I'm going to try to enjoy every minute of it.

Birth

Regan Aria Pond arrived into our family February 15th, 2011. (at 4:10pm) She weighed 7 lbs 14 oz and was 19 inches long. I walked into the hospital, climbed up onto the operating table & delivered my beautiful little girl. When i tell people i had a scheduled c section, i always get "aaw, i'm sorry..." or "wow, too bad" or "ooh, why??" Truth is, i chose that, and that was the right choice for me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

She's beautiful, she's perfect, & i'm so happy she's mine.

The countdown has begun!

I'm 35 weeks & i've got days to go.

Christmas!

It feels like christmas went by so fast this year, well, maybe it feels like that every year. Anyways, kiera got to put up her own little tree in her room this year. She was so excited about it. She got to pick out her decorations and all. She even decorated it herself. (notice all the balls on the bottom half of the tree) She got to meet with santa. Totally excited when she saw him... then totally silent while with him... then totally excited after we walked away. At least she didn't cry, right?
So, christmas eve, we had family over for dinner, gifts & games. It was so much fun! Before bed, kiera put some cookies out for santa... Then, on christmas morning kiera slept in til about 10... what kid does that, especially on christmas morning... then we did stockings & gifts. The rest of the day was pretty ordinary. My mom came over, we went grocery shopping & took kiera to urgent care (but it was closed...go figure...) She'd had a cough & congestion for over a week but all day she'd been complaining her ear hurt. The rest of the day we stayed home & just relaxed. It was a great christmas.

Gingerbread

Each year, kiera gets together with her cousins to make a gingerbread house. The kids love it! We get together, have lunch, the kids get to play, & then make their house. This year the only one eating the candies was kiera. The boys did the trees & the girls did the house. It came out so cute! And it's amazing how well they did.

Vegas Baby!

For our anniversary (nov 22) we decided to go to vegas. It was our Pond Thanksgiving year so we thought it'd be nice to break up the drive and have a special time to celebrate our 4 years of marriage. We stayed at the Palms... total let down. I wasn't impressed at all. The only good thing ryan says was the breakfast buffet they had. I agree but i have such little room in my belly these days, i get full too fast.

Halloweenie!

This year for halloween we went to Mickey's Trick or Treat Party! It was awesome! They had a special halloween parade, special shows, all the characters were out (including the villains), and we got to trick or treat around disneyland! They gave out SOOO much candy! Kiera was alice, i was the queen of hearts, and ryan was tweedle dee. I can't wait to go again! For our church halloween party, kiera dressed up as a monarch butterfly. She loved that costume! They had food, games, & a trunk or treat. Best time ever!

Baby

So, in mid october we went in for an ultrasound! Yes, for those that don't or didn't know, we're expecting baby #2! We didn't blog it, facebook it, or shout it from the rooftops like most people do... but we are no less than excited. Our beautiful baby girl is scheduled to arrive feb 15th & we are anxiously awaiting her arrival! Kiera can't wait to be a big sister!

Kiera's Birthday!

October 2nd Kiera turned 2 years old! We had a Golden Birthday for her (2 on the 2nd). It was so much fun decorating. We went towards the theme of pirates gold. Her cake was awesome! Bought by my friend Stacy. I wish i'd taken more pictures but honestly... being the parent & being in charge of throwing and hosting a party is hard work! Next year i will hire a photographer! haha, just kidding, but i will for sure put someone in charge of taking pictures. My little girl is growing up!
Her birthday breakfast!
Her gift from daddy!
Her birthday dessert from TGIFridays!

Dad got a motorcycle. He loves it. I'm supportive. And i pray more diligently each morning... as i hear him start it up to leave for work.

Big Girl Bed

In september, we decided to switch kiera to a big girl bed. She was starting to be too big for her crib (she sleeps big if you know what i mean) annd her birthday was coming up so we thought, best time, might as well! She and her grandpa built it & painted it! She had so much fun! She was so excited, it was all she could talk about.. "my new bed, my new bed, my new bed"... So, we brought it in, set it up... that night we got her all ready for bed annnd when it was time to lay down, what did she say.. "where's my crib...?" Then she cried. She cried nightly for a while. Absolutely loved it, during the day, and would invite anyone & everyone that came over to see this wonderful new bed that her & grandpa made... but when it came time for bed.... nope. She'd need someone to stay with her til she fell asleep & would get up once, maybe twice a night for some comfort. It was rough. She loves it now, thank goodness! Her pink princess big girl bed!

Abuelita

Every year around the end of august, we have what i like to call the 'annual gathering at the avocado tree'. Kinda like the marching of the bulls, or the releasing of the doves or... you know, something monumental like that... It's to celebrate my abuelitas birthday. We all come to the nursing home she lives at, bring our chairs, bring food, & hang out... for like 8 hours...seriously. I love it. This last august, my grandma turned 92. And honestly, you wouldn't know it. She comes from some strong & awesome genes! Hopefully, we've got many years of 'the gathering' to come!

Disneyland!

So, having disneyland passes is pretty much awesome. We can go whenever, stay for however long we want, & it's a totally free activity at times we just wanna get out of the house without spending any money! *catches breath* Another great thing is kiera's still free for the time being. Some of kiera's favorite things right now are autopia, the parades, the characters (she loves to give them hugs), the teacups & small world. Hey look! We finally found someone BIGGER than daddy!

Summer Vacation!

For summer vacation this year we went to San Diego. It was so much fun! We stayed at Humphrey's Half Moon Inn & Suites. It was a great week, and we did so many fun activities! Let's see, we went to Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, the beach, & hung around the hotel. Ryan & kiera got in a swim. The hotel is Hawaiian themed so it felt like we were somewhere far from home.

It's been forever since i've blogged, and i've got tons i can add on here so... we'll see what we get. and just so you know, i'm not going back and adding dates or anything so deal with it. Anyways... here we go!